“You’re not going to fit,” she told him as she wondered if women did to men what he had done to her. Touching with their mouths. Would that be nice?
He chuckled and reached for his slacks. “It will fit.”
He removed a square of plastic, then sat on the bed. She was going to ask what he was doing, then remembered that the act itself had consequences. He was making sure she had nothing to worry about.
She was about to ask him why he had a condom in his pocket, then he eased her onto her back and slipped between her legs.
The position felt a little strange and she didn’t know what to do with her feet or her hands. Did she just lie there? Was she supposed to move? Should she keep quiet or did people talk?
“This will hurt a little,” he warned. “You are prepared?”
She nodded and braced herself.
He smiled. “Perhaps you could pretend you are excited.”
“What? Oh, sorry. I’m just nervous.”
“Perhaps I can distract you.”
He reached between her legs and began to rub her again. She immediately relaxed as the familiar tension started. If he kept that up for very long, she would come again.
But before she could get far along the path, he stopped and she felt something hard pushing against her. She took a deep breath as he slowly, slowly filled her.
The pressure was unfamiliar and a little uncomfortable, but not bad. There was more and more until at last he said, “I am in.”
She opened her eyes and smiled at him. “I’m wild now.”
He smiled in return. “It will take a little more for you to be wild, but this is a start. I would like you to touch me.”
Oh. “All right,” she murmured, not sure where or how.
She stroked the length of his arms, then put her hands on his back. He withdrew and pushed in again. This time she tilted her hips slightly, taking him more easily.
By the fifth time, she didn’t have to think about the touching—it just happened on her own. And there was a subtle tension between her legs. Different from what happened before, but still compelling.
She closed her eyes and lost herself in the rhythm of him making love to her, filling her, pushing deep inside of her, making her ache and want. He moved faster and his breathing increased. More and more until he groaned and was still.
He murmured her name as he held her. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the weight of him, a stretch in her hips, and knew that everything had changed forever.
K ayleen spent the following morning not sure what to think. Her evening with As’ad played over and over in her mind like a very naughty movie. Every time she remembered him touching her, she felt all squishy inside.
She hadn’t expected to sleep, but after he’d gone back to his room, she’d fallen into her bed and the next thing she knew it was morning. She’d awakened happy and sore and just a little out of sorts. She didn’t regret what had happened, but she certainly felt…different.
As’ad had been so great, she thought as she waved to the girls as they climbed into the Town Car that took them to school each day. He’d been gentle and patient and funny and sexy. He’d been everything she could have imagined a man being. More, she reminded herself. He was better than anything—or anyone—she could have imagined.
And the whole being together thing had been amazing. Who had thought that up? Why hadn’t she understood before? Was this what her Mother Superior had meant about getting out in the world?
Kayleen covered her mouth. She doubted that was exactly what the other woman had meant. Still, she understood now that there were possibilities. Things she’d never known about. Did she want to give up that kind of a relationship forever? Did she want to get married and have a family? Did she—
“Good morning, Kayleen. How are you?”
She looked up and saw Lina walking toward her. Kayleen had the sudden thought that the other woman knew. That everyone knew. It had to be obvious, didn’t it? Could they tell? Was her appearance different? Was there something in her eyes?
The crash of guilt was as powerful as it was unexpected. Yes, her night with As’ad had been wonderful and exciting, but what was she thinking, giving herself to a man like that? They weren’t in love. She wasn’t sure she knew what being in love with a man felt like. So she’d just given herself to him? Why? Because he’d made her feel good? Would she give herself to anyone who asked?
“Kayleen?” Lina frowned. “What’s wrong? Are you ill?”
“I’m fine,” she said, trying to act normal, which was difficult. She suddenly couldn’t remember what normal was.
“What happened? You’re flushed. Are you sure you feel all right?”